Happy New Year?

firstly, may i comment: i can't believe it's been a whole year since i was sitting here, on this same couch, watching jools holland's hooternanny.

now that annual statement is out the way, what's all this bollox about "new year" anyway?

to start, it's at totally the wrong time of year. far too close to christmas - i mean, as if there isn't enough to do! the 1st of november (the first day of olden times) is a far better time. the winter is kicking in and there's a decent break before the next bout of festivities adorned with the traditional faux jollity. for goodness sake, why are we all still pretending that we're having a great time? we're either crowded down at the thames, where we wait 4 hours for  the ubiquitous fireworks which are never worth the wait, and then a further two hours trying to get away from the area - hemmed in by thousands of drunks who are either standing on your toes or vomiting in front of you, or worse still, being sick down your back and, just to add insult to injury, it's usually pissing it down and you've lost your umbrella.

or, you might be the lucky so-and-so sitting safely in a restaurant, paying about four times more for a meal that is either late or cold or someone else's, and then someone drinks a bottle of single-malt and when it's time to pay everyone insists "lets just split the bill equally" (bastards!). then it's some dodgy "mini-cab" to take you home, but for some reason they now think it's acceptable to charge £20 for what's usually a £5 fare.

what's all this compulsory enjoyment about anyway? i would much prefer if the "having fun" was voluntary. this is one good thing about getting older. when i was under 30 i had to force myself to stay up all night, getting drunk and "enjoying" myself. i couldn't let the side down - proving it for the youth! but, as soon as i hit 30 it was [check me watch] "oh my, it's 10.30! time for me to go now" and an immediate dash for the door. now i'm even older i don't even have to participate. no one complains. after all, who wants some miserable old wanker permanently wedged into the comfiest  armchair in the house, demanding strangers bring them drinks, all night long?

so - here i am, on the couch - we have 2 bottles of champaign, one's already gone and shortly, when the second is through, i will be off to me bed.

see you in 2011.